The day began in a surgical waiting area, nervously chatting with my daughter and Jill about casual things and putting on a remarkable show of "Nothings wrong". My grandmother and aunt arrived within the first 25 minutes or so and more putting on a show and chatting casually with them while I waited for my name to be called to be taken to the surgery prep room. One person could go with me to this room. I don't know where to even begin to share what was REALLY going through my mind at this point. The best way I can explain this is a death row inmate waiting for the guard to lead him to the execution room.
As I patiently waited for my mom and step-dad to arrive.. my name was called. A nice nurse, (who was slightly goofy), read off my name and asked me my birth date. We turned a few corners, boarded an elevator to a destination I cannot remember, hopped on a scale and weighed in at 347 lbs (Beginning weight of this process was 373 lbs), and then was led to my own little room, if you wanna call it that. Here I am instructed to strip down to nothing and put the dreaded gown on that shows my ass to the world. Everything began to go in fast forward at this point. The anesthesiologist came in and started the IV in my hand and I must say he did a remarkable job and I barely felt it. The next thing was panty hose on my legs... really??!?!
Finally they were done prepping me for surgery. The nurse went and got the rest of my family to visit with me one last time before surgery. My mom and step-dad had finally arrives and of course Jill was by my side through this entire process, and I am sure she was having a giggle or two as they prepped me for surgery. After a prayer, a few kisses and an "I Love You" the time had arrived. Another nurse came to take me to surgery. I was now being wheeled to death row. That's truly what it thought. I was on the verge of tears. I wanted to jump out of the bed and run screaming down the hall... "I changed my mind!!!" but all the hard work that I had put into this was not going to be wasted that easily.
The nurse tried to joke with me and talk to me as she carefully steered my bed through the halls of Riverside Hospital. Then we arrived at the operating room, where I was asked my name and birthday as well as what procedure I was having done. I was somewhat concerned by the last question, as I quietly thought to myself.. "You don't know what you are about to do to me?!!?" I am sure they just ask to make sure you are coherent enough to answer basic questions. I was then asked to climb onto the operating table where they made me VERY comfortable and covered me in the WARMEST blankets EVER and all my fears began to melt. The anesthesiologist began talking to me and he must have been administering his special juice because it was then I fell asleep.
Recovery was awful. I dry heaved at least five times as there was nothing in my NEW stomach to vomit. They gave me medicine to stop the vomiting or lack thereof if you will. I spent the next two hours with a nice nurse who was very compassionate and who quietly talked to me off an on and asked how I was. Our time was short as I was wheeled to my room on the eighth floor. Waiting there was my mom, Jill, and Bethany. I don't remember much about about my first few hours other then the nurse coming in and taking my temperature and blood pressure.
As evening pressed on I remember Jill being by my side and sitting on my bed beside me. I also remember her feeding me ice as I felt as though I was parched. I love her so much that she would stay there with me all day and feed me ice. Thank you Jill. Thank you for the bear and the card you got me as well. The next day was full of getting out of bed and going for walks around the ward and more poking and prodding from the nurse. Dr. Myers released me about 4 o'clock and I don't remember much of the ride home.
The first week was very rough. The first few days were good because of a pain pump that administered anesthetic every hour to the incisions making my whole stomach numb. Once that was removed everything changed. I was in quite a lot of pain, I felt sick no matter what I drank. The doctor had to call in prescriptions to stop the nausea. I cried a lot and wanted to just give up. I hurt and I missed the easiness of just eating whatever, whenever. I knew I couldn't give up because now my entire life had changed. My stomach is the size of a golfball. There is no going back.
Three weeks of liquids and things that will roll off a spoon is the the first phase which I am currently in. This stage will end on November 30th. Then phase two will begin where I will be able to eat pureed foods. Both phases will require protein drinks to bump up my protein each day. I have to eat 75 grams of protein per day. These two stages will end on December 21st. At that point I will begin to introduce real solid foods back into my daily regimen. Then it's just a life of making sure I am getting all of my proteins and water taken in each day.
People have been messaging me and asking me questions about this process and my thoughts on it. Would I suggest this procedure to someone who is wanting to lose weight? Yes and No. I researched this procedure and thought long and hard about this. It is a drastic lifestyle change. You are basically learning to eat all over again and it is by no means NOT EASY. This is not for everyone and I encourage you to really think it through. So far I have lost about 22 lbs SINCE SURGERY alone. I am close to 330 lbs now. That's in just over a week. The process is working and I know I will lose a lot more before it's all said and done. Would I do it again if given the chance? Absolutely.
I will post more as the weeks progress and I face more adversity and challenges. I am far from the finish line. I thank you for reading my blog and I hope I can be as informative as I can for those that might be considering having this done. If you have questions feel free to message me on Facebook or emailing me. I would be happy to answer any that you might have. Thank you again to everyone who has supported me through all of this and who continues to support me. You all know who you are. I love all of you. Till next time, that's all for now.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Pre-Surgery Jitters, Thoughts on the Pre-Surgery Diet and a Thank You
I really miss food. Today is day 5 of the liquid diet I am required to eat prior to surgery. There seems to be a method to this madness. The liquid diet consists of pretty much all protein, and no carbohydrates. The diet, in theory, gives you the necessary amount of protein through the day to live and maintain proper muscle mass while forcing the liver to use up the stored carbohydrates and sugars forcing it to shrink. The importance of shrinking the liver is so that it can be safely moved out of the way during surgery so the surgeon can do his thing. So, while I would never wish this diet on ANYONE, it has a purpose and I have been doing what I need to do daily during this difficult time.
Some of the naysayers are pointing their fingers and saying "Oh I am sure you will be fine and you will live", in their very selfish way. What people don't realize is that I am a 355 pound man that was eating probably close to 2000 calories a day on Tuesday to eating 600 calories a day via liquid protein drinks on Wednesday. This has not been easy by no means. To go to work and have a team meeting on my last day of work where the entire team is eating pizza and I can't eat any is quite difficult. To watch my family eat McDonald's while I can't eat any myself is very difficult. I am gonna have to get used to it though. This is the life I have chosen to lead.
I am a little bit concerned with everything that is going on in my life. Everything has happened so fast. My daughter and I moved into Jill's house yesterday. I am happy with that decision. It makes things much easier for both of us in that we can spend more time together and don't have to run back and forth between two houses anymore. It also means we will both get more sleep since we were staying up quite late trying to to squeeze in time for each other. It is something we have talked about and we agreed upon. I could not be any happier with my relationship with Jill and how things are progressing. I welcome the new life we have started together and I look forward to the next chapter in our lives.
With that being said, I am concerned that all of this is putting a burden on her and her son because of the timing of everything. She tells me that she is okay with everything and she is here to support me and be here for me in any way that I may need. She has always been very supportive of me and my decisions since we met. I guess maybe I should respect her decision in that she is okay with everything but I can't help but wonder if there are things she doesn't tell me. I don't want her to get stressed out trying to take care of me after surgery. I don't want to put additional stress on her and cause her more then she is willing and able to deal with. I love her very much and hold her to the highest possible regard because of how amazing she is. She means the world and so much more to me.
With about 30 hours to go until my surgery, the nerves are starting to creep in. I am scared, I am not going to lie or even try and sugarcoat it. A person who seldom worries about things I have no control over is worrying a little. It's a difficult process and I really have a lot on my mind. I know I seem distant at times when you try and talk to me. I am not ignoring you. I am simply lost in thought trying to work through some of the things running through my mind. I try and find things to distract myself because when I am not distracted I sit and think and my mind races. I hope if you are reading this and you are interacting with me in these last few days this helps clear some things up. Well, I may write more in the next day or so. Look for more after the surgery as I am sure there will be lots of thoughts and emotions post-surgery.
I ask that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers over the next couple days as I am really going through a lot. I thank all of you wonderful people that read my blogs and I thank each and every one of you that I can truly call my friend or family. I look forward to many years of of blogging and happiness. Goodnight.
Some of the naysayers are pointing their fingers and saying "Oh I am sure you will be fine and you will live", in their very selfish way. What people don't realize is that I am a 355 pound man that was eating probably close to 2000 calories a day on Tuesday to eating 600 calories a day via liquid protein drinks on Wednesday. This has not been easy by no means. To go to work and have a team meeting on my last day of work where the entire team is eating pizza and I can't eat any is quite difficult. To watch my family eat McDonald's while I can't eat any myself is very difficult. I am gonna have to get used to it though. This is the life I have chosen to lead.
I am a little bit concerned with everything that is going on in my life. Everything has happened so fast. My daughter and I moved into Jill's house yesterday. I am happy with that decision. It makes things much easier for both of us in that we can spend more time together and don't have to run back and forth between two houses anymore. It also means we will both get more sleep since we were staying up quite late trying to to squeeze in time for each other. It is something we have talked about and we agreed upon. I could not be any happier with my relationship with Jill and how things are progressing. I welcome the new life we have started together and I look forward to the next chapter in our lives.
With that being said, I am concerned that all of this is putting a burden on her and her son because of the timing of everything. She tells me that she is okay with everything and she is here to support me and be here for me in any way that I may need. She has always been very supportive of me and my decisions since we met. I guess maybe I should respect her decision in that she is okay with everything but I can't help but wonder if there are things she doesn't tell me. I don't want her to get stressed out trying to take care of me after surgery. I don't want to put additional stress on her and cause her more then she is willing and able to deal with. I love her very much and hold her to the highest possible regard because of how amazing she is. She means the world and so much more to me.
With about 30 hours to go until my surgery, the nerves are starting to creep in. I am scared, I am not going to lie or even try and sugarcoat it. A person who seldom worries about things I have no control over is worrying a little. It's a difficult process and I really have a lot on my mind. I know I seem distant at times when you try and talk to me. I am not ignoring you. I am simply lost in thought trying to work through some of the things running through my mind. I try and find things to distract myself because when I am not distracted I sit and think and my mind races. I hope if you are reading this and you are interacting with me in these last few days this helps clear some things up. Well, I may write more in the next day or so. Look for more after the surgery as I am sure there will be lots of thoughts and emotions post-surgery.
I ask that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers over the next couple days as I am really going through a lot. I thank all of you wonderful people that read my blogs and I thank each and every one of you that I can truly call my friend or family. I look forward to many years of of blogging and happiness. Goodnight.
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