Thank you Veteran's and Don't Judge a Book by its' Cover.

My dad served this country for over twenty years as a proud member of the United States Air Force. He continues to serve this country even now working FOR the United States Air Force as a civilian doing the same job he did as an enlisted member of the military. He served overseas on many occasions and participated in the Persian Gulf War. He is a veteran, he is a great man, he is a patriot, and he is my dad. Thank you dad for making this country safe not only for me but all of you fine Americans reading this blog. He is one man, out of MANY men and women who put their lives on the line EVERY day for you and me so that we can call this great country home. Veteran's Day is this week on November 11th so be sure to thank a member of our Armed Forces both current and former for the freedoms they have protected. If you are a veteran or current service member, Thank you for your dedication and bravery and God Bless you.

I tell you that to tell you this, men and women should not have to die in THIS country because of some selfish son of a bitch who has it bad and wants to kill himself. People, if you are depressed and feeling like killing yourself that's fine, go ahead, kill yourself, but do it alone. Why do these people feel the need to take people with them? I see it weekly, murder suicides and mass shootings from these cowardly people who want to go out in a blaze of glory. The bad thing about it all, they kill so many people and then they live!!! How is that fair? I think if you do something stupid like this AND LIVE you should be charged as a domestic terrorist. You are no better then the men who hijacked planes on 9/11 and killed thousands of people. You just didn't have a plane to take more with you or a building to crash the plane into. That's enough of me ranting.

I wanted to share with you guys a little about my week. I don't lead an exciting life at all. I don't drink, I don't take drugs, and I have but a few friends. The excitement of my day is getting up to go to work in the morning and working a 8-9 hour day and talking to customers all day for the phone company. I then come home, climb in my favorite chair, log onto my laptop, and hang out talking to friends online, and reading news stories that hopefully will spark my interest enough to make it on the show on Sundays. I have no kids around anymore to occupy my time so my days tend to pass as a blur.

To take this discussion a tad further, and a little deeper into my mind.. because after all I am the tour guide around here.. so you're stuck with me, so deal with it and enjoy the ride. Those that know me know I am a large man, but to put it boldly I am a fat man. I am a fat man in poor health. I have high blood pressure, degenerative arthritis in my feet that is so bad I find it very difficult to even walk some days. I have low self esteem that has always been a struggle with me and even more so as the last 14 years of my life have progressed through failed relationships. Somehow I have this notion deep inside that it is ME that caused my relationships to fail because I wasn't good enough for them. I know there is more but it pains me to get past that notion that eats at me. I can't play with my kids like a normal parent out in the yard or in the house for that matter because of my feet hurting most days and because I can't really exercise to even be fit enough to keep up with them.

I decided to do something about this last year. I had been researching the bariatric surgery for weight loss and after much deliberation and soul searching I decided that this was the best thing for me to do not only for myself but for my kids and my family. I went through a screening process at a clinic in Columbus, Ohio and was very excited for this procedure only to have the door slammed in my face by the Insurance Company denying the procedure that the doctor says is medically necessary for me to live a long and happy life with my kids. It's one year later and I am no closer to having the surgery done then I was a year ago. I want this surgery, I need this surgery, or I will die before it's my time and I will have cheated my kids, my family, and my friends out of precious time with me.

Being a fat guy in American is such an awful thing to talk about. People treat you so awful. They look down their noses at you, and judge you without knowing your story. I am not fat because I want to be. It's not fun. I am a person. I have feelings just like you. I care. I just feel so helpless to do anything about it. Once you get to a point such as where I am at it's not as simple as "going on a diet" and exercising. There are health concerns that prevent the loss of weight and sadly my feet prevent me from doing just that. People love fat guys though, we are great listeners and they are the one person who has is worse off then you. There is more to a person then the large body that you look at each day. For me, there is a loving person inside that would do ANYTHING for anyone. I am a forgiving and compassionate man with family values and traditional old fashioned ethics. I don't walk the runway in my stylish clothes and strut myself on the catwalk.. so no one notices you otherwise.. that is until you have a problem and need someone to talk to.

I am fighting even now to have my surgery. Someday it will be approved. I will have it. I will lose this weight. I will be a better person. I will be a healthier person. You will see. All you people who turned your nose up at me.. I will still be here for you because that's how I am. If I take time from my day to listen to you and comfort you in your time of need.. it's because I care.. not because I am fat and have nothing better to do. There is more to a person then what you see. Get to know people before you judge them. Don't always judge that book by it's cover. You may have a bestseller in front of you and not even know it until you pick it up and read it. Thanks for reading my blog again. If you like what you read stop back often. I will try and share as often as I can stand to open my brain for you to come inside and look around. Till next time, come by Llama 80 and enjoy the show. I look forward to seeing you. Have a good night.