I am "Courageous"

"Courageous" - The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.

Children from fatherless homes are:

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
(Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census).
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
• 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
(Source: Center for Disease Control).
• 80% of rapist motivated by displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
(Source: Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, pp. 403-26).
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
(Source: National Principals Assoc. Report on the State of High Schools).
• 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.
(Source: Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. Of Corrections, 1992).

These statistics translate to mean that children from fatherless homes are:

• 5 times more likely to commit suicide
• 32 times more likely to run away
• 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
• 14 times more likely to commit rape
• 9 times more likely to drop out of high school
• 20 times more likely to end up in prison
• 7 times to become teenage mothers
• 6 times more likely to be in a state-operated institution

Children who are raised by single mothers are:

• 33 times more likely to be seriously abused (Abuse resulting in medical attention)
• 73 times more likely to be killed.

Wednesday evening, I had "date night" with my fiance. We had a nice dinner at the local Bob Evans restaurant and then proceeded on to the movie theater to watch the movie "Courageous". Neither of us had any idea what the movie was about as we entered the theater, other then the fact the directors were the same ones who directed the movie "Fireproof" a few years ago. We both had seen posts from our friends on Facebook who had recently seen the movie and commented about how good the movie was. So, on a whim we decided to make that our "date night" movie. Now, having seen the movie, I must confess, it was an awesome choice for "date night".

Let me tell you a little bit about the movie. There are absolutely NO known actors in this movie. If you are expecting to watch this movie in hopes of seeing a well known actor, then this is not the movie for you. The lack of well known actors has no impact on the movie itself an in all honesty, I think the movie being made with relatively unknown actors, made the movie that much more enjoyable and added to the story unfolding on the screen. This movie is also very spiritual with a lot of religious undertones, and it also has a very Christian and real world message.

The movie itself is based in Georgia, and follows the lives' of 4 police officers, and a blue collar worker. It portrays the challenges that each of these 5 men and their families face. So as not to give anything away in the movie I will leave it at that. No spoilers from me. To make a long story short, events in the movie lead one of the officers to do some real soul searching and to make a commitment to his family and his friends agree to make the same commitments. The movie is powerful and it really touches the heartstrings of men, and fathers in general. I encourage any man, especially those that are fathers to go and see this movie.

My review of the movie certainly does not give it justice, and is not a very revealing review of the storyline, but I feel to reveal details will ruin the experience of the movie. It's just one of those movies that you have to watch to appreciate the left out details in a review. As I mentioned before, this movie had a VERY powerful message, and it really left me with a lot of mixed up emotions and void. It made me do a lot of soul searching, and as I write this blog, I am still searching for the answers to some of the personal questions I am asking myself as a direct result of this movie.

As a father, I often wonder if I am making the right decisions with my kids. As a father I am faced with an unusual situation in that out of my 4 children, only one of them lives with me. My oldest, my daughter, is the child that lives with me, and I often wonder if she isn't the most challenging of all of my kids to raise. She is a Freshman in High School, very outgoing, and with hormones raging very much boy crazy. At 15, I am torn with the decision to let her have a boyfriend. She has a boyfriend. A boyfriend in title more then what we, as adults, would consider a "relationship". I don't think that she is ready for a relationship that is actively involved with a young man, and I don't think there will ever be a young man out there that will ever be good enough to be in a relationship with her in my eyes. LOL

I mentioned a commitment that the men in the movie made to their family. This was the commitment they made to their families:

The Resolution Message:

"I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children. I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home. I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me. I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength. I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged. I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. --Joshua 24:15"

Upon hearing this commitment to the families in this movie, I almost immediately began to question myself and doubt myself. Am I doing these things? Can I do these things? Will I do these things? Why have I not been doing these things? Where do I go from here now that I am a failure at some of these things? After a lot of soul searching, there is a lot more involvement and emotional baggage I have to work through before I could EVER make a commitment to my family like this. Having been raised in the church through my adolescent years and well into my teenage and early adult years I have a foundation and a base of knowledge of the Bible, God, and all things religious. However, I have turned my back on that aspect of my life a number of years ago and I have never looked back. For a long time I have had no desire to pursue that aspect of my life, for personal reasons. I would explain my position but that in and of itself is most certainly a whole other blog post and this one is beginning to become quite lengthy.

This movie, "Courageous", has opened a door inside me to re-evaluate that decision to turn my back on God. While, I am not ready to jump back into a church and all of that I will continue my self evaluation and begin to work through the struggles that led me away from that aspect of my life years ago. I have to start somewhere and I have enough confidence in myself to know that I will be able to work through some of the struggles. I have renewed interest and desire with opening new doors with my family as we enter into our new marriage in three weeks. Time for change and new directions.

While I cannot be the man that this commitment declares by currently being a Godly man, I do commit to be a faithful husband, and father. I solemnly resolve to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children. I will love them, protect them, and serve them. I will be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her. I will train my children to honor and respect authority and to live responsibly. I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy. I WILL treat others with kindness, respect, and compassion. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged. I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God. I WILL work through my struggles and seek to honor God, obey His Word, and do His will. I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory. I will begin to seek God in everything I do. I WILL give my struggles to God and pray that I can overcome the obstacles that have kept me away for so long. This is my promise and commitment to MY family.

I feel that this is only the right thing to do. Obviously my commitment is not the word for word commitment that was used in the movie. It is modified currently because of my current situation with religion as a whole. I am committed to working on this aspect of my life though and I will do everything I can to become a man that God sees favor in. I have a lot of work ahead of me and a lot of things to work through. I ask that you pray for me to find the answers I search for and for clarity to work through the things I need to overcome.

In closing, I challenge all the men and fathers who read this, are you "Courageous"? Are you willing to make a commitment to YOUR families? What's holding you back? What do you need to work through in order to make the same commitment I am now making to my family? I encourage you to watch the movie. It quite possibly has changed my life. I have made the commitment. Hold me accountable. I am and always will be "Courageous".