Pre-Wedding Thoughts and Comments

24 days. 576 hours. 34,560 minutes. I am sure by now you are asking yourself, "What in the world is he counting down?" That's the time left until Friday, November 11th, 2011 at 6:00 PM. While this day may be of little importance to the rest of the world aside from it being one of those "freaky days" with the matching numerical calendar days, it will be my wedding day to the woman I have been with a little over a year now. The woman who I love very much and am thankful for every day.

It all started in a stalkerish manner. (Yes stalkerish is a new word I think I just made up) A random post on Facebook by Jill, about her having a crappy day, lead to my nosey self pulling up her Facebook page on my computer to see if she had a cell phone listed in her contacts. To my surprise she did have a cell phone listed. I decided to send her a random text message of encouragement to try and brighten her day. That simple act of kindness, in an attempt to cheer her up, albeit somewhat stalkerish, generated further discussion between us. The simple act of kindness was returned a couple days later when I posted about a crappy day on my Facebook page and a message was received on my phone to try and cheer me up.

Thus began the talking via text messages, phone calls, Facebook chat, Yahoo chat, and the "date" to meet at the TYger vs Clearfork football game on Friday night. I believe the date of the official football game was September 10th, 2010. Somewhere through the last year we decided on an "official" anniversary date of September 14th. I am not sure where that number came from, but I know by September 14th, 2010, we both knew that our lives were going to change for the better.

My life was changed in many ways between September 14th, 2010 and November 9th, 2010. I met the most amazing woman that I had ever met in my entire life. We share a lot of the same interests and dreams. We enjoy each other's company, and to this day I cannot ever imagine spending the rest of my life without her and her son Tyson, who I think is probably one of the coolest kids I have ever met, aside from my own of course. As many of you know November 9th, 2010 was the day I had bariatric weight loss surgery.

My daughter and I moved in with Jill and Tyson one week before my surgery. We had talked about this "big step" for a few weeks and to begin with we had set a "tentative" move date of sometime after the 1st of the year for this big move to happen. This all changed as I finished all of my pre-surgical appointments and things seemed as though they were going to be pretty crazy after my surgery. It just seemed easier for everyone involved for the move to happen before the surgery, and it made being together with Jill so much easier as well.

Over the last year, our relationship has blossomed into something that at one point in my life I thought I would never have again. The surgery has made me a better person, both physically and mentally as my body has changed so has my mind. My self esteem has improved and Jill is a big contributor to that as much as the changes to my body. I believe that going through the surgery as well as life's' struggles the last year has brought us closer together as a couple.

I won't sit here and tell anyone that I wanted to get married, because truthfully I was sold on the idea that I never wanted to get married ever again after my marriage ended so abruptly and was such an emotional train wreck for me. I honestly believed I could never love someone again with the fear of getting hurt, and that someone would truly ever love me. I have admitted trust issues that Jill has been very patient with and has helped me to overcome. She is the most trusting person I know even when she is doubting me. I know I can trust her 100% about anything. We have awesome communication and we can talk to each other about anything.

Over the last year, I have had the pleasure of getting to know a woman that truly loves ME for ME. She began this relationship with a 375 pound fat man, with no self esteem, trust issues, who felt like his life was going no where. I was the definition of living a pity party. She has stood by my side since the day we first kissed, or held hands and she has never looked back. She has brought the best out in me and helped me to realize that she loves me for who I am, and she supports me for who I want to be. Because of this support and love I can with a heart of love say I am ready to be married again... for the last time... to a woman who loves me with all of her heart, body, and soul.

I could go on and on about how amazing Jill is, but this is a blog about me after all. She is my life so I suppose I could probably write a blog about her every day for the rest of my life but I am sure no one would want to read about that. Through the last year I have lost 145 pounds. I weigh 230 pounds. I joke with myself and say that I lost 145 pounds of baggage, but the truth is I think I really did. I have emerged as a new man. I feel great, Better then I have in almost 10 years. My back doesn't hurt anymore, my feet don't hurt anymore, my blood pressure is practically normal with minimal meds, and I no longer require the use of my CPAP breathing machine as the sleep apnea has ceased to be a problem. I wear size 38-40 pants, where I used to wear size 52+. I wear XXL shirts now where I once wore 5XL and 6XL shirts. I even lost a full shoe size, going from a size 12 to a size 11. Feels good to share my successes.

So in 24 days, 576 hours, 34,560 minutes I will be standing in front of a church full of family and friends to take the hand of the woman I love in marriage, to begin the next chapter of my life. I am a new man in more ways then one. I could not ever dream of having anymore happiness in my life then I have now. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through my trials the last few years. It means a lot to me. Till next time I blog again. Have a good week.